Hanging Loose in Wildwood

Contrary to what this photo may lead you to believe this guy is not naked. We would have been long gone when I saw him out the window if that were the case. He actually had on a pair of snappy looking flowered shorts. He spent the day out there soaking up the rays. Not exactly South Beach but he was enjoying himself.

If you are interested in seeing more photos of our coach trip so far you can visit: http://picasaweb.google.com/tagfish1/MotorCoach?authkey=Z6zd_G1kH14 It is an album set up like our Africa trip web album.


When I last left you we had just pulled into the Wildwood KOA and were getting ready to set up our space. We were assigned to 57 Palm Avenue. That conjures up visions of a trendy tree lined avenue with floral accents, boutiques and cafes doesn't it?



57 Palm Avenue was a sand/dirt path with narrow angled pull through spaces. Each space came with a wood picnic table (each of which bore multiple scars from parking miscalcuations) and hookups for electricity, water and a dump site for the gray and black water tanks. We don't have Mary set up for satellite service yet so we were hoping for cable in this KOA. Cartersville had it. Wildwood did not. Not a problem because we have books, radio, and movies. John guided Mary into the narrow space and I parked the Camry in front of her. In order to get the car pointed in the right direction I had to make a tour around the park and come back down Palm Avenue. As I eased down the sandy road I was taken back in time to a memory of being unwittingly directed into a lovely section of Watts back in 1977 by a friend who was in need of a fix. We had just spent a day at Disneyland. Talk about one extreme to the other. Being totally dense about what was going on...and I mean totally dense, I ended up spending an hour sitting in my locked car in the 'hood waiting for this moron to come back. Our friendship ended that day. And my mother just turned over in her grave. Sorry Mom...


Okay, I exaggerate a little bit about this KOA but it really did look a little scary and looked nothing like what the internet description and photos portrayed. Oh by the way, if you know anyone looking for an Airstream bumper-pull trailer to restore (I guess the old trailers are pretty cool when they are fixed up) I can direct you right to the spot where you can find a great selection. There was also a couple there who had two nine-week old Yorkie puppies that were adorable. They were the highlight of the park.

It really seems too much of a stretch to call it a park. It was a campground. That even seems a little generous.

So we ran into the puppies with their owners when we took Breezy out for our first evening walk. Before we went out the door I hesitated and looked at John. "What is it?" he asked. "Do you think we should take the pepper spray with us?" He laughed at me. Then he hesitated. "Maybe we should take the gun instead," he said. We looked at each other for a long moment and then had one of those good tension relieving laughs. We started toward the door and I spoted the keys hanging in the ignition. "We might want to take those with us. I don't think Mary would last three minutes here if we leave the keys." We locked up and the three of us started for the corner of the park where there is a stand of trees. That was the designated dog walking area. There wasn't a blade of grass anywhere just a billion acorns. Acorns are toxic to dogs. Apparently they want to discourage dogs at this KOA. We watched Breezy closely being as she is the kind that will pick up anything and crunch into it to find out what it is. "Drop it, drop it, drop it" echoed through the trees and "Potty, potty potty, hurry, hurry, hurry." She ignored us. She didn't even want to poop in this place. Repeated attempts proved futile until we wanderd off of the property to a grassy area. Can't blame her. There was a wide walking path that wound into the woods. My champion visualization capability jumped right into high gear when I looked at that path. Headlines on CNN: Couple and their dog disappear in Wildwood KOA. Foul play suspected. Fancy motorhome stolen. Suspected serial killer works as campground host. The freaky guy with the Pit Bull in the flimsy pen outside of the TRASHED up trailer under investigation.

Okay, so we met the couple with the puppies. We chatted for a minute about the cute little dogs and then they asked how long we had been there. "Arrived today," John said. "Oh dern, you missed breakfast!" the guy replied. John and I looked at each other. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. Hospitalization...IV tubes...stomach pumping. My mind was at it again. I was thinking about the "pot lucks" that were listed on the website. "Yeah, we sure did," John said. "Maybe next time." Ha. We said good evening and sauntered on our way.


After Breezy finally did her thing the discussion began as to whether we would stay the two nights that we had paid for or to try to find another place. After our adventures with Mary so far we were kind of tired and looking forward to staying put so we decided to stick it out. It was just two days. And two nights. We could entertain ourselves inside for that long. No problem. We lowered the shades, turned on the radio and I blogged while John read and Breezy snoozed. Just before retiring for the night John volunteered to take Breezy out for her evening walk. "Please come back," I said. He smiled and flipped on the porch light and as he stepped out with Breezy I heard him say something to someone outside. When he came back he said there was a nice farmer from Kansas that had pulled into the space to the right of us. That was a relief.


The next morning we got up and I turned on the coffee. I don't wake up fast even if the house is burning and coffee is the second thing that happens after my feet hit the floor. John wakes up early and hits the floor running. Sometimes he forgets how I am and asks me what I have planned for the day. I normally have a plan for the next day before I go to bed but it doesn't rise to the surface until my second cup of coffee so I just stare at him with a blank look. So I poured a cup while John took Breezy for her morning walk. "Please come back," I said as he decended the steps. I plunked into the dining table booth and turned on my computer. When he came back I looked up and noticed that there was something very close to big Mary on the right. I strained to see through the shade and finally got up and opened the shade. I nearly jumped back. The Kansas farmer had parked his trailer almost on top of the picnic table (and the only object separating the two vehicles). You could barely see daylight. "Got a little close don't you think?" I ask. "Yeah, he did," John says behind me and then, "Uh oh."


I snapped upright. Suddenly I was awake. "Uh oh? What do you mean UH OH? What's UH OH?" I say in near panic. He says, "I'm almost out of Cheerios," as he pulls the box out of the cupboard. I let out a big sigh and took a few seconds to let my heart rate return to normal. "Please don't say that again unless there is a serious problem. Uh oh needs to be reserved for emergencies." He smiles at me shaking the box. "Running out of Cheerios is an emergency." He grins.


After breakfast and showers we decided that later we will drive down and check out the Monaco Service Center where we were scheduled to deliver Mary the following morning. We spent some time relaxing and watching the neighbors for a couple of hours; old ladies trooping through the campground in their chenille bathrobes to and from the public showers, the guy next door with the Harley (cool bike) getting ready to take his classic biker chic woman (EEEEKKK!!!) on a ride, the guy in the photo above who sat like a white-haired Buddha all day deepening his saddle tanned look, and the people across the road who were working diligently restoring a 1977 Airstream. I thought people did that kind of thing before they went on vacation... We took a walk around the park with Breezy and I nonchalantly snapped some shots of the...scenery.


After lunch we locked up Mary, got in the Camry and headed toward Monaco. Along the way we passed a Winn-Dixie grocery store and a Shell station and car wash. We needed something for dinner and the Camry was filthy and needed gas so we decided that on the way back we would stop. Two miles down the road we pulled into the Monaco Service Center and found a beautiful open green setting with tons of hookups. The lot was full of Monacos. Monacos as far as the eye could see. Since we took possession of the coach it has been John's fantasy to find a nice park and set up next to an experienced Monaco Dynasty owner whose brain he could pick about coaching. We were looking at his dream. It was too late to move (we were told by a nice lady at Monaco that we could stay there but that on the weekends it got pretty full...so that's why we decided on the KOA) so we put it in the "L&L" file (that's live and learn) and moved on to groceries. The plan was that I would go to the store while John went to the Shell station across the parking lot to gas up and get the car washed. Sounded like a good plan.


I went to get the food. I had a list in my head...never a smart thing at this age but it was short so I didn't think I needed to write it down. But when I get freaked out I tend to forget things. I went to the bakery section and picked up a fresh loaf of garlic bread, then on to the freezer section to find a Cornish game hen. As I approached the freezer section I heard a booming voice behind me say, "THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA IS THE AXIS OF EVIL!!!". My head snapped around looking for the nut case that just spewed out that load garbage. When I got a look around I saw some wierd...no very weird folks staring at this fruit loop who was preaching in the grocery store aisle.


Time to go. I grabbed the chicken out of the freezer, ran down the wine aisle and grabbed the first bottle that I recognized as being red wine and raced for the cash register. I tried to pay while the clerk and store manager commented at length about the wine that I chose and admitted that they knew nothing about it while my mind screamed "Just put the freaking bottle in the bag and let me out of here!" Once in the parking lot I looked around and didn't see the Camry. I looked at the Shell station and didn't see the Camry. "Don't panic, don't panic," I say as I got my phone out and called John. "I'm stuck in line at the car wash," I hear. I dashed to the car wash with bags in hand and threw myself into the passenger seat. "What's wrong?" he asks. "It was like Walmart on steriods," I say out of breath. "I'm sorry but I forgot the Cheerios." I felt terrible...but safe.


Our next challege came sooner than I was prepared for. The car wash had a bizarre entry system. You buy gas at the Shell station and they give you a reciept with a number on it that you enter on a keypad on a beat up kiosk outside of the car wash. There is a sign on the kiosk that says, "Do not enter your secret code until I stop beeping." No lie. That's what it says. After waiting for ten minutes the woman in front of us, who is the next in line, gets out of her car and waves her index finger at us indicating that we be patient (what can we do...we are sandwiched in between two cars and two curbs) and she disappears! Five minutes later she shows up with a big guy (Henricke) who has a small machine in hand that he is doing some sort of voodoo on. After he does what ever it was that he did she gets in her car and proceeds to the car wash. John engages Henrike in conversation about the problem. "She entered her number before the machine stopped beeping," he says pointing to the sign. "Don't enter your number before the machine stops beeping." By this time I just want to get the freaking car washed and get back to Queen Mary at the KOA. So finally it is our turn. John enters the number and we watch the red sign turn green telling us to move forward. He eases the Camry into the car wash. The green sign doesn't change to red when we hit the bumper for the front tire. It stays green and stays green and stays green until finally John decides that it must mean that we need to move forward more. I'm thinking that there is something wrong with the green light when he guns the engine and drives over the bumper with the left front tire. This cocks the car to an angle when it should be straight and once again my heart is racing. "I think we went too far," I say. The light finally turned red. He put the car in reverse and the tires squealed and jumped back over the bumper leaving us at an odd angle as the metal bars of the "touchless" car wash started to move. My visualizer went to work again. I closed my eyes and could see the "touchless" bars scraping down the side of the car tearing the paint off as they went. Thankfully it just washed the car. I thought about uncorking the wine while we were in the car wash but waited for dinner instead.


We had a perfectly delicious dinner from the convection microwave, which I had never used before. Between the two of us we figured it out. John opened the wine and we had a fun time listening to CNN Radio and talking about politics while we sipped wine. I only had one more heart stopping moment before we called it a night. We were sitting at the table when our neighbor fired up his Harley. I jumped straight in the air and if I didn't know better I would swear that my hair stood up. Oh those noises.

Mary is in Wildwood parked with about fifty other coaches just like her. I'm sure that she is telling some good stories on her inexperienced new owners. Thankfully she is patient and forgiving. And we already can't wait until we can pick her up and hit the road again!